Friday, September 08, 2006

Needles and Pinz-zah.


As I sit here in the smokey back office of Willard's I am soothed by the sound of what seems to be one stock car going around and around Richmond International Raceway during one of the practices for this weekends races. But I still have butterflies in my stomach. I don't know why. We don't really have a dog in this fight, since our beloved Ward Burton remains "currently unaffiliated", as George Clooney's hilarious Everett McGill said in "Oh Brother Where Art Thou?".

Still this Race For the Chase has succeeded in adding some excitement to the whole travelling circus known as NASCAR. And so I shall fret until the final lap of the Chevy Rock and Roll 400 tomorrow night. Worrying over whether or not Jeff Burton will make it into The Chase. Will Denny Hamlin? Will Mark Martin be able to contend one final time for an elusive Championship? Will Mikey Waltrip ever find True Love? (It's the Devil's Crowbar....).

I heard Mikey say that Kasey Kahne was "cute as a button" in his Snuggle firesuit last week. Mikey said, "I just wanted to hug him! Show another clip of him in that Snuggle suit!"

Ho, me! Worrah, worrah, worrah. Soap operas could not possibly be as engaging as NASCAR. "But oh!", you say, "You haven't seen "Passions"!! It's over the top! They even have a monkey on it!"

We got a monkey.

3 Comments:

Anonymous rankin' rob said...

The conventional wisdom says this year's Chase lock-out race at Richmond lacks the drama of the previous two, but I disagree. Everyone from 4th back to 11th could swap places with one big wreck, one broken brake rotor, one evil green weenie cast down from on high.

I tend to think that the ghost of Fireball Roberts will frown on Jeff Burton. But what if Tony Stewart gets taken out by any number of drivers who would love the chance? He could be on the outside looking in. Then you wouldn't have no monkey left in the fight. No sir.

1:56 PM  
Blogger Jinxy said...

Is there a race this weekend or sumthin'?

5:49 AM  
Blogger The Dixie Butcher said...

Jinxy, you are a complex dude. A walking contradiction. We love you for that. If you could only get in touch with your inner Bubba, you would be perfectly flawed, and henceforth Godlike. Join us.

Rob, no doubt about Smoke. I can't speak for Cecil, but I'd sacrifice Stewart's spot in The Chase to insure Hamlin's & Burton's. I'm torn - can't decide if I'd rather see Burton win The Cup, representing "the old guard", or Hamlin win it in his only chance to be the first Rookie to win a Cup.

Either would be sooooo cool.

7:11 AM  

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