Monday, August 21, 2006

The Powers That Be - NASCAR

Thanks to Jeremy Mayfield's little lawsuit filed against former employer Ray Evernham, the media is finally allowed to talk publicly about the little affair that Evernham and his developmental driver Erin Crocker have been having FOR MONTHS.

And as Dave DeSpain gleefully mentioned on his show Wind Tunnel last night, it's been "common knowledge" around the garage for months. Evernham's wife filed for divorce a couple of months back, yet the media skirted the reason why. Sure, there was a little innuendo from the non-mainstream sources - but even there it was only the vaguest of hints with an added wink.

The Evernham/Crocker relationship doesn't really interest me that much except for being a source for crude locker room jokes which are so easy to come up with there's not much sport in it. What fascinates me is the media's complicity to keep the story hushed up. The power that the Almighty France Family wields in the Wide World of Sports.

NASCAR prides itself on being a "family oriented sport" and works very hard at cultivating a clean cut image. Squeaky clean. At times almost prudish. The legions drunk girls flashing their tits in the infield of any given racetrack are still there, but you won't see them on television or written about on Jayski.

Unlike college and professional basketball, football and to a lesser degree baseball, scandal is not tolerated. And actual criminal activity of any sort will generally get you thrown out of the sport FOR LIFE after your second offense. (Google Shane Hmiel if you don't know what I mean.)

This is the work of The France Family, who in this day and age have more clout (and probably more money) than the Mafia of old. They rule the sport and the media with an iron fist, and what they accomplish fucking amazes me. "The Garage" is a very large "place". "The Garage" represents thousands and thousands of NASCAR employees and includes hundreds of sportswriters. All of whom knew about the Evernham/Crocker romance for months -MONTHS!! people!! - with nary a word printed in the press or spoken aloud.

Granted, an adulterous love affair is small peanuts compared to the rapin', murderin', drug addled thuggery that we hear about all of the time in other professional sports, but other than a crack-head and a couple of closet queers, that's about all we got in NASCAR. Or so we're told.

I don't think I have a point here, other than to express my amazement at the Power of the France Family and NASCAR's ability to police itself. Don Corleone would be envious. But is it a good thing? Should we have this in other sports? Should we have it in NASCAR?

I must say, my skull fills with Glee when I imagine the Marcus Vicks and Terrell Owenses of the world trying to make it in NASCAR. Their big, bad, black asses and mutinous spirits would be crushed as quickly as their career possibilities.
Washington Redskins coach Joe Gibbs seems to enjoy walking the tightrope between the two sports, having had much success in each. He seems to have a much lower tolerance for bullshit than other NFL coaches. What does he know that we don't know? I'd love to hear his comparisons of the inner workings of NASCAR and the NFL after he's had a few beers....

Your thoughts, Ladies and Gentlemen?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damn by god. Lady looks like a dude. She resmbles that actor Eric Stoltz, don't you think? I always wondered about Evernhan and his "relationship" with Jeff Gordon, which ended when Gordon finally grew some shorthairs and started looking more like a teenager instead of a little boy. looks like he found his "son" again, this one with a real twat!

Believe you me, there are plenty of Nascar folks who were regularly gettin' a little sumpn' sumpn' on the side, way back before the new mold for the nascar wife was created by combining Anna Nicole and Jenna Jameson, and removing most of the little brain matter (no offense to Jenna, a smart woman IMHO, she just had to share it with the cow).
As a matter of fact, I knew a friend who knew a friend who was a very special friend with a certain little brother driver from Corpus Cristi, Texas. Now he is a big time Christian and all, I guess Gibbs slipped him the Koolaid after all, and the Petty's certainly wouldn't stand for that sort of thing, would they??? Did I give you enough hints?

You are on the mark about the secretive nature of Nascar, and how the France mobsters control everything. One wrong word and your press creds are gone forever. But also, the spoils of the game are there for the taking, regardless of your ranking. When you have 43 drivers, 430 crew members, and 100 or so journalists surrounded by 50,000-75,000 horny stock car sluts, there's plenty of poon for everyone! Why would you squeal?

Don't tell Ethel I said that, she won't ever let me go to another race if she thinks there's available trim. Especially for a stud like me.

Remus Dawson

7:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good thing about the available trim in the infield at a NASCAR event, Remus. Since many of them are toothless, you can turn them upside down and get the same effect. Double your pleasure with double mint gum.

Agree with you about the Evernham-Crocker coupling. She homely. It must be love, or something transgender.

rankin' rob

11:48 AM  
Blogger The Dixie Butcher said...

Remus: You had me at Corpus Cristi. ;)

As for Crocker's comliness - I think she's cute. If I was 25 years old and had any interest in doing anything other than my girlfriend Bonnie, I'd do her.

But then I have a thing for redheads of any gender. Hell, I'm married to a man who looked like Eric Stoltz in his younger days (he was after my power tools...), so there's no accounting for taste, is there?

Me n Cec were talking about how Evernham should get credit for going for "The Trophy Wife". Instead he went for a wife with trophies. Too bad they're all World of Outlaws so far...

7:05 PM  
Blogger The Dixie Butcher said...

oops, I meant credit for "not" going for the trophy wife. :P

7:08 PM  

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