Saturday, August 26, 2006

Ray Scott - Busch Series Food City 250 - Bristol Motor Speedway

Shoooeeeee! I'm rushed today, folks! Spent a total of EIGHT solid hours watching NASCAR programming yesterday and well into hour two of seven today. Currently listening to SPEED TV's two hour pre-race show out of the corner of my ear while I type - and it sounds like ol' Crazy 8's (Robert Yates) is still courting Ward Burton for 2007. Good luck with all that, Bob.

(edit: Dammit! I meant to mention that they played part of Iggy Pop's "Success" as an intro to a piece SPEED did on Yates today. "Here comes success...over my head...." . And just the other day I was wishing for some Iggy. They still need to use "Loose", though.)

So I'll make the Busch Reviews relatively short - may add & edit later, so check back for more of my mouthiness!

THE INVOCATION: Mike Rife - pastor of Vansent Church of Christ, Virginia:
Cool. Short, sweet and weird. First line was, "Dear God, we thank you for our sponsor, we thank you for this facility..."
Thanking God for your sponsor. Perfect. Straight out of Ricky Bobby.

THE FLYOVER: Two F-18 Hornets out of Beaufort, S.C. - very nice!

THE ANTHEM: Ray Scott - "country music recording artist". Somebody sign this guy, he's cool. We loved him, he sounded like (and kinda looked like) Mike Cooley from The Drive-by Truckers. Nice, rich, baritone that was just reedy enough to give it a little twang. He did a respectful, conservative rendition of Our National Anthem. Although he used five notes on "wave", (and I'm sure he did this because he didn't have quite enough air & diaphragm to back up holding the one long note) it was totally forgivable because he was so fucking cool.

Cecil gave him 3.5 and 1/2 stars. - "I liked the fact that he was sweatin'. And he sounded kinda like Waylon."

Dixie gives him 4 stars. - I thought he sounded like Merle Haggard and/or Dale Watson. But Dale sounds like Merle, and not the other way around. Either way, ol' Ray Scott is jake by me.

THE COMMAND: Claudia (I didn't catch it, it went by so fast) - of Children's (hm hm hm hm hm...) Raceway Charities? Maybe? Anyhow, once again, the ladies do it again. Claudia didn't throw her all into it like that gal in Michigan last week, but she shouted it out and seemed like she was genuinely thrilled to be there. Cudos, Claudia!!!!!

Fun facts about Bristol:

Some drivers hold their breath while qualifying. Not too hard to do, as it's only 15 second laps.

In a field of 43, if you qualify 3/10ths of a second slower than the fastest car - you ain't fast enough to make it into the race.
Three tenths of a second, people. To quote Dale Jr., "That ain't shit."

How many G's do they pull? I dunno. The corner banking is 36 degrees. The straightaways are 18 degrees - that's more banking than Michigan has on it's corners. Former crew chief/sportscastor Bill Engle once hung a bolt on a string over the dash of a qualifying car, and the bolt and string hung parallel to the roof the entire 30 seconds.

Congrats to Jeff Burton's girlfriend Matt Kenseth on his win - didn't keep Happy Harvick from getting FIVE HUNDRED + POINTS ahed of his current second place competitor, Cousin Carl "Why the Long Face" Edwards. Unheard of. Harvick can sit out the rest of the year and still win the championship.

Speaking of Burton - we LOVE those Holiday Inn commercials!!! You seen 'em? They must be the work of The Martin Agency, they're just too sick to be anyone elses. There's five of 'em total, all featuring these bonehead business dudes - I'm sure you can find them online somewhere.

Also love the "agitate the dots" commercial. Who is that, Alltell? Who cares? That black dude eating the cake is awesome.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a Jeff Gordon lover, not a hater. But he sure made a teetotal ass of himself last night after the Sharpie 500. Instead of lecturing Bahama North Carolina's own Scott Riggs about how things are done up at the front of the field, i.e., you move out of the way if I'm coming, but I ain't moving if you're coming, Wonderboy should've just congratulated him for a top five and thank him for serving as a pick to keep Denny Hamlin from passing him for points the last 100 laps.

Riggs runs great at Bristol. I watched him nearly win a couple of Busch races at Bristol back in the day in the Nesquik car. He's one of the handful of North Carolina touchstones left at the highest levels of the sport. Jeff was condescending, grinning and showing his teeth like a wolf in the aftermath of the epic struggle. He got bumped, he didn't lose it, he kept his top five. Show some grace 24.

Plus Riggs has kept his mouth shut througout the whole Evernham-Crocker pussyfest train-wreck this season, and he brought Ray his top finish last night. Elliot was overdriving the 19 car to prove a point and got his nuts cracked. Idgit.

rankin' rob

11:01 AM  
Blogger The Dixie Butcher said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4:15 PM  
Blogger The Dixie Butcher said...

God bless ya, Hon! I still don't have the Pre-Cup Race (sounds like something Monty Python would put on...) Review up yet, sorry ya had to post here - cuz DAMN! You write about racin' real purdy.

Darn Mee-Maw over here- them night races wahr me out!
Victory Lane didn't go off until midnight, then Ian Punnett & Art Bell were on until 5am, so I been busy!

Nice commentary, though, Rob. You got "It". Them people on SPEED need to hire us to do a TV show. We ain't pretty, but I bet people would watch it and say "right on!!". When are they gonna figure out The NASCAR Nation likes it a little ugly?

(Note to self: "Remember how The France Family shut down 'Pit Bulls' ".)

I was gonna say something like, "I could be the Tony Kanaan to your Kevin Harvick, the caramel to your peanut butter....", but I started grossing myself out...

oops. I did it again.

6:42 PM  

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