Sunday, May 06, 2007

Clint Bowyer Looking for New Crew Chief?

From WhoWon.com:

"For Whom the Wedding Bells Toll? They Toll for Dan … Bowyer’s crew chief Dan Deeringhoff will miss this weekend’s race at Talladega in lieu of his wedding. Deeringhoff will marry Sandy Bessey in a ceremony this Saturday at noon at Sandals Resort in the Bahamas. Bowyer’s NEXTEL Cup Series engineer Jeremy Bullins will call the race in Deeringhoff’s absence who will return to the top of the pit box next weekend in Richmond."

I think this blurb pretty much speaks for itself, but I can't resist voicing the obvious.

That must be some amazing pussy.

I caught the "announcement" sometime before the Talladega races, but haven't gotten around to commenting on that, as well as the pre-race stuff from 'Dega and Richmond, but this news just trumps all.

I'll tell ya what those bells are really tolling for: Dan Deeringhoff's career as a crew chief. As Cecil pointed out, Deeringhoff may get some "to his face" ribbing from Bowyer & the rest of his crew for being so pussy whipped that he'd miss Talladega to get married, and he most likely replied something to the effect of, "Well, yeah... but you only get married once, from now on everything else is back to normal, and no more missing races because of my extraordinarily hot wife." But I agree with Cecil, who said if she's hot enough that he'd agree to miss Talladega for a Spring Wedding in the Bahamas, (...uhhhh... Dan? It's always nice in the Bahamas, you really coulda done it in December or January....), then she is PLENTY hot. Hot enough that you need to be worrying about her gettin' some on the side when you're at the shop late all week long, and at the track all weekend long.

If she don't give enough of a shit about racing that she'd make you miss Talladega for your fucking wedding, she sure as hell ain't gonna be in the pit-box with you 36 weekends a year. Oh hail no! And Cecil also noted that "They have a Chapel in the infield of Talladega."

Buddy, you're screwed. Bless your heart. Sincerest condolences from Willard's Garage, mate. Any gal who would knowingly marry a (nearly) top-level crew chief, then require him to miss Talladega so she can marry him, is going to be higher maintenance than all the cars at RCR put together. You'll never get to Cup full time making those kinds of calls. I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you in such a cruel manner, but if you think it hasn't been said behind your back by everybody in the garage, you're living in a fantasy world. Enjoy it while you can, dude.

Best of luck to you, Dan. Congratulations on bagging what must be one amazing girl, and HEARTIEST congrats on winning the Busch race in Richmond!! Don't get too cocky (no pun intended), don't let yourself get distracted, and keep up the great work!!

7 Comments:

Anonymous rankin' rob said...

At least he's enjoying getting fucked, as opposed to Dale Jarrett's last 4 or 5 crew chiefs.

8:37 AM  
Blogger Cowgirlup said...

Any woman who willfully knows what she is geting into in racing, (espeially one who is involved with an up and coming crew chief) has the responsibility to be able to know what the racing season holds. My feeling is, that this woman Dan married is a "racing groupie" who has no idea of what it takes to be a racing wife. Any woman who has a little bit of racing salt within her (which is what it takes) would know that you plan your wedding or whatever personal events around the racing season! Pushy Mother-In-Laws, Desperate women, and misguided famiy members have caused many a great racing person to winde up in the ditch!! I really hope that such misguided people in Dan's life to not lend him this fate!

11:37 PM  
Blogger The Dixie Butcher said...

Sing it, sistah! And Welcome to Willard's Garage!!

I would think even the newest of the neo-Pit Lizards would have enough sense to know to plan the wedding during the months off, but maybe I'm wrong. Or maybe she's some little gal he met at church and she knows nothing about racing. Whatever the case, she's T-R-U-B-B-L-E with a capital RUB (as in "me the wrong way"). Or maybe a capital RUBBLE (as in "that's all that will be left of Dan's career...).

I pity da fool.

In the past I've seen the same thing happen to friends of mine in the music business, and it's just a crying shame. Girls fall in love with the "rock stars" because they're "rock stars", then once they get hitched, the gal gets jealous of the very things that attracted her to the man in the first place. And you don't know who is the bigger fool - the girl or the guy.... Mm. Mm. Mm.

12:02 AM  
Anonymous Jay said...

I'm glad my wife's a racer too. We had to lean on the local head of the SCCA to release this season's schedule early last winter so we could plan our wedding for an open weekend.

3:46 PM  
Blogger ABAT said...

There comes a point where this guy also has a responsibility to say: "Fuck that, I've got shit to do."
Case in point, me and my two brothers used to play in metal bands. Only one of us, the youngest, had any real musical ability. He was (and probably still is) a brilliant drummer and could have gone a long way. Anyway, the chick he went out with and ended up marrying is a complete bitch who did her very best to split the band and us up. She succeeded. Is it really her fault though, or my spinless brother? I figure that soft-cock had a part to play in it too.
Same as Dan really.

Good to see you back writing Dixie!

6:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I say good on him for actually having the onions to realize that his wedding day really is more important than a dumb car race. If y'all don't get that, I feel sorry for ya. There is another race next week. Duh.

8:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They added that race after he made his plans.. Dumb Asses...

11:13 AM  

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