Sunday, October 22, 2006

Must Have Krispy Kremes...



Okay people, don't ask any questions, just do as I say.

Go to your nearest Krispy Kreme franchise, or the nearest store that sells delicious, delicious SOUTHERN Krispy Kreme doughnuts...

http://www.krispykreme.com/storelocator.html

...and buy a dozen or so. Pick up a gallon of milk and some Fuck Starbucks coffee, too. DO NOT!!!!!!!!!. I repeat, DO NOT !!!!!! purchase any type of doughnut other than Krispy Kreme!!!!!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND, PYLE??!!!???!!!

You have received your orders. Check back frequently for further orders. We are on the verge of war. Be prepared.

7 Comments:

Anonymous rankin' rob said...

Mmmmm. Hot out of the grease trough.

Did you know you can microwave the grocery store boxed versions to achieve the same effect? Give them about 9-12 seconds and you're good to go. Just make Cecil wear one of them paper hats and it'll seem just like you're back on Ponce in ATL, post gig, 2:30 some wacky morning. Couple of big dogs instead of winos to snort and snuffle alongside. Sorry I missed you.

Heh.

9:39 PM  
Blogger The Dixie Butcher said...

Oh hell yeah, the microwave revives them fine.

Nails the Cat, a/k/a Muchacho, Moochie, and usually The Moochador loves Krispy Kremes above all things. I don't know if it's the yeast that attracts him or what, but you have to hide the doughnuts from The Moochador.

3:18 AM  
Blogger Jinxy said...

Krispy Kreme is the devil.

10:20 AM  
Blogger The Dixie Butcher said...

I hope you mean that in a "They're the Devil because they are insanely delicious, and a doughnut non-pareil" sort of way, My Friend.

Because you, Dallas and that Fulmer crew of his (and Speedy, of course) will be protecting the Northern flank, and you are about to become a Four Star General.

Those wee bits of unleavened fried cake batter that D*nk*n Dogfucks serve up are meant only for male homosexuals born and raised above the Mason-Dixon, and they must be eradicated.

10:52 AM  
Anonymous rankin' rob said...

Hey. Drunken dogfucks make good cake-style donuts, and the coffee is good. A buddy of mine returned from a 50 day expedition in Pakistan, on the Baltoro Glacier. When he returned finally to "civilization" to Islamabad, his highpoint was going into Dunkin' Donuts. Even bad American donut conglomerates are better than the alternative; i.e., Sharia.

True dat that no one fries dough like KK. Word

7:12 PM  
Blogger The Dixie Butcher said...

GODDAMIT PASTRY BOY!!!! I will kick your ass from here until next Sunday if you ever, EVER praise DD again.

Clearly you do not understand the gravity of this situation. (Primarily because I haven't explained it yet, but nevermind that, GODDAMIT!!!)

FUCK DUNKIN DOGSHIT AND THEIR FUCKIN YANKEE DOUGHNUTS!!!!!

You are so demoted. DROP AND GIVE ME 500, PUDWALLOP, AND EAT ONE KRISPY KREME EVERY TIME YOU GO DOWN!!!!!!

8:39 PM  
Anonymous rankin' rob said...

Pudwallop? I'm clearly out of some critical loop here.

10:33 AM  

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