You Might Be an UnsophisticA-tit Rustic If....
Cecil Under Siege. (photo courtesy of Rankin Rob)
According to sometimes NASCAR spotter, and Larry MacReynolds's sometimes RV driver, Racin' Fat Boy, Mike Skinner "don't eat broccoli." But Dr. Carl Abraham Zimring and Dr. Ward Burton do.
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You might be an Unsophisticated Rustic if you keep live Virginia Opossums in your home. Which we don't. Right now.
You might also be an Unsophisticated Rustic if you're sitting in your living room drinking Milwaukee's Best, and turn to see your house cat, of dubious feral ancestry, is carrying a small, live frog around its mouth, and not think much about it other than to say, "Honey, Nails got a frog in his mouth.", and turn back to the Jimmy Kimmel Prime Time Spectacular on ABC. (Which, btw, was brilliant, and included footagge of Kimmel and Iron Mike Tyson singing "Winter Wonderland" together.)
It's possible you might be an Unsophisticated Rustic if you are accustomed to sweeping baby Copperhead snakes back out into the back yard with a broom when you find them basking in a sunbeam near your work desk.
And it is also remotely possible that you are an Unsophisticated Rustic if you know the quickest and easiest way to capture live bats and birds that are flying around your house without harming them, or having them shit all over the house before their departure. (Hints from Heloise: towels and five gallon buckets can be useful tools.)
Please do not ask us about the paper lunch sacks full of live mice. We assure you none of them are harmed, and are placed in loving homes that can give them far more than we could ever hope to.
According to sometimes NASCAR spotter, and Larry MacReynolds's sometimes RV driver, Racin' Fat Boy, Mike Skinner "don't eat broccoli." But Dr. Carl Abraham Zimring and Dr. Ward Burton do.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
You might be an Unsophisticated Rustic if you keep live Virginia Opossums in your home. Which we don't. Right now.
You might also be an Unsophisticated Rustic if you're sitting in your living room drinking Milwaukee's Best, and turn to see your house cat, of dubious feral ancestry, is carrying a small, live frog around its mouth, and not think much about it other than to say, "Honey, Nails got a frog in his mouth.", and turn back to the Jimmy Kimmel Prime Time Spectacular on ABC. (Which, btw, was brilliant, and included footagge of Kimmel and Iron Mike Tyson singing "Winter Wonderland" together.)
It's possible you might be an Unsophisticated Rustic if you are accustomed to sweeping baby Copperhead snakes back out into the back yard with a broom when you find them basking in a sunbeam near your work desk.
And it is also remotely possible that you are an Unsophisticated Rustic if you know the quickest and easiest way to capture live bats and birds that are flying around your house without harming them, or having them shit all over the house before their departure. (Hints from Heloise: towels and five gallon buckets can be useful tools.)
Please do not ask us about the paper lunch sacks full of live mice. We assure you none of them are harmed, and are placed in loving homes that can give them far more than we could ever hope to.
posted by The Dixie Butcher at 11:34 PM
2 Comments:
I would make the mistake of picking up the bag of mice instead of my lunch and heading off for the office, a squirming traumatic incident waiting to happen in the lunchroom later. Heh.
Great Nails shot, in any event...
"....and mayhem ensues...", as they say.
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